Blog it Forward

Why God Created Children

2008-09-18T22:10:00.000-07:00

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you
chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the
thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children After
creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he
said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have Forbidden
fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God
saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never
changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they
haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself If God had trouble raising
children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that
there are children more awful than your own.

6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
home.

AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT
SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"

Isn't this the truth!!!

2008-09-12T23:24:00.000-07:00

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn , you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someones Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.
You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

Food Fun

2008-09-04T17:15:00.000-07:00

The Right Way

2008-03-05T18:05:00.000-08:00

The right way.

The right way is what works for you and your child and your family.

The right way for you is not the exact same right way as the right way for your neighbor, your sister, your best friend.

The right way with your first child is not the right way with your second child or third child or thirteenth child.

The right way is what allows you to be true to yourself and honor your child at the same time, as much as you can, in the middle of situations that should be against the Geneva Convention.

The right way doesn't have anything to do with pacifiers, or putting a baby down asleep or awake, or when your baby is out of diapers, or whether your baby watches TV or not.

The right way is about learning more about yourself and using that knowledge to learn about your child. And then taking that knowledge of your child and using it to learn more about yourself.

The right way is having a long conversation with this amazing little person you've been entrusted with. Sometimes the conversation gets rough and you get tired and angry at each other, but you keep talking. And the conversation just gets more and more interesting as you go along.

For me, the right way is that my mom learned how to text as soon as she figured out that that's easier for me at work than talking.

I don't know if I'm doing it the right way at any given time with my kids, but the conversation seems to be going well, so I'm trusting that I'm doing fine.

Dear Mom

2007-12-12T15:19:00.000-08:00

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Mom" With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But
it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people
that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.
She deserves it.
Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday
I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son Jon

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
; I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home!!

One Flaw In Women

2007-12-10T21:56:00.001-08:00

One Flaw In Women

(you will see what it is in the end)

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take 'no' for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have the compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

This is just to remind you of how amazing you are.....!

The True Origin of the Internet

2007-11-16T23:23:00.000-08:00

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called 'Amazon Dot Com.'

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all.

My confession

2007-11-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

A lot of truth in this

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in. My Best Regards.

Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

Middle School - 'Dusting'

2007-09-11T22:32:00.000-07:00

First, I'm going to tell you a little about me and my family.
My name is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is
known nationwide for it's crime rate. We have a lot of
gangs and drugs. At one point we were # 2 in the nation
in homicides per capita. I also have a police K-9 named
Thor. He was certified in drugs and general duty. He
retired at 3 years old because he was shot in the line of
duty. He lives with us now and I still train with him because
he likes it. I
always liked the fact that there was no way to
bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn't allow it. He would
tell on you. The reason I say this is so you understand that
I know about drugs.

I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our
kids at least once a week if they used any drugs. Makes
them promise they won't.

I like building computers occasionally and started building
a new one in February 2005. I also was working on some of
my older computers. They were full of dust so on one of my
trips to the computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF.
Dust Off is a can of compressed air to blow dust off a computer.
A few weeks later when I went to use one of them they were
all used. I talked to my kids and my two sons both said they
had used them on their computer and messing around with
them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10 dollars I paid for them.

On February 28 I
went back to the computer store. They didn't
have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I bought a single
jumbo can of Dust Off. I went home and set it down beside my
computer.

On March 1st, I left for work at 10 PM. Just before midnight
my wife went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 5:30 am
the next morning Kathy went downstairs to wake Kyle up for
school, before she left for work. He was propped up in bed
with his legs crossed and his head leaning over. She called
to him a few times to get up. He didn't move. He would some-
times tease her like this and pretend he fell back asleep. He
was never easy to get up. She went in and shook his arm.
He fell over. He was pale white and had the straw from the
Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can
of Dust Off in his hands. Kyle was dead.

I am a police officer and I had
never heard of this. My wife
is a nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found
out from the coroner, after the autopsy, that only the pro-
pellant from the can of Dust off was in his system. No other
drugs. Kyle had died between midnight and 1 AM.

I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids
ages 9 through 15. They even have a name for it. It's called
dusting. A take off from the Dust Off name. It gives them a
slight high for about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy
who lives down the street from us showed Kyle how to do
this about a month before. Kyle showed his best friend. Told
him it was cool and it couldn't hurt you. It's just compressed
air. It can't hurt you. His best friend said so.

Kyle was wrong. It's not just compressed air. It also contains
a propellant called R2. It's a refrigerant like what is used in
your refrigerator. It is a heavy gas. Heavier than air. When
you inhale it, it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with
oxygen, out That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases
the oxygen to your brain, to your heart. Kyle was right. It
can't hurt you. IT KILLS YOU.

The horrible part about this is there is no warning. There is
no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an overdose; it
can just go randomly, terribly wrong. Roll the dice and if
your number comes up you die. IT'S NOT AN OVERDOSE .
It's Russian Roulette. You don't die later. Or not feel good
and say I've had too much. You usually die as you're breath-
ing it in. If not you die within 2 seconds of finishing "the hit."
That's why the straw was still in Kyle's mouth when he died.
Why his eyes were still open. The experts want to call this
huffing. The kids don't believe its huffing. As adults we
tend to lump many things together. But it doesn't fit here.
And that's why its more accepted. There is no chemical
reaction, no strong odor. It doesn't follow the huffing signals.
Kyle complained a few days before he died of his tongue
hurting. It probably did. The propellant causes frostbite.
If I had only known.

It's easy to say hey,it's my life and I'll do what I want.
But it isn't. Others are always affected. This has forever
changed our family's life. I have a hole in my heart and
soul that
can never be fixed. The pain is so immense I can't
describe it. There's nowhere to run from it. I cry all the time
and I don't ever cry. I do what I'm supposed to do but I don't
really care. My kids are messed u p. One won't talk about it.
The other will only sleep in our room at night. And my wife,
I can't even describe how bad she is taking this. I thought we
were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe because
we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.

After Kyle died another story came out. A probation Officer
went to the school system next to ours to speak with a stu-
dent. While there he found a student using Dust Off in the
bathroom. This student told him about another student who
also had some in his locker. This is a rather affluent school
system. They will tell you they don't have a drug problem
there.
They
don't even have a dare or plus program there. So rather
than tell everyone about this "new" way of getting high they
found, they hid it. The probation officer told the media after
Kyle's death and they, the school, then admitted to it. I know
that if they would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't
have been in my house.

We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs.
Using Dust Off isn't new and some "professionals" do know
about. It just isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They
all seem to know about it. April 2 nd was 1 mo nth since Kyle
died. April 5th would have been his 15th birthday. And every
weekday I catch myself sitting on the living room couch at 2:30
in the afternoon and waiting to see him get off the bus. I know
Kyle is in heaven but I can't help but wonder If I died and went
to Hell.

This Officer is asking for everyone who receives this email to
forward it to everyone in their address book, even Law Enforce-
ment Officers.

If You Give a Mom a Muffin

2007-09-06T23:04:00.001-07:00

If you give a mom a muffin
She'll want a strong cup of coffee to go with it, She'll make herself some.
Her three-year-old will spill the coffee She'll wipe it up.
While wiping the floor she'll find dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over boots and bump into the box of Goodwill items.
Bumping into the Goodwill items will remind her that she has to get these boxes out of her basement and into the car.
When she puts the boxes in the car, she'll find a bag of groceries and this will remind her she has to cook dinner.
She will get out the chicken defrosting in the fridge.
She'll look for her cookbook, "101 Things To Do With Chicken"
The cookbook will be sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the Netflix movie she's meant to send back and the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
The checkbook will be in her purse that is being dumped out by her one-year-old.
As she bends down to rescue her purse, she'll smell something funny. She'll change the baby's diaper.
While she is throwing away the diaper and searching for the hand sanitizer, the phone will ring.
Her three-year-old will answer and hang up.
She'll remember she wants to call a friend - not for coffee, but for a very strong drink.
Thinking of drinking will remind her that she was going to have a cup of coffee in order to stay awake for the rest of the day.
And chances are....

If she finds her cup of coffee (which she has to reheat by now), Her children will have eaten the muffin that goes with it.

Do you really know how to forward e-mails?

2007-07-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

Do you really know how to forward e-mails? This was written by a System Administrator for a corporate system. It is an excellent message that ABSOLUTELY applies to ALL of us who send e-mails. Please read the short letter below ..

Do you really know how to forward e-mails? 50% of us do; 50% DO NOT!

Do you wonder why you get viruses or excessive amounts of junk mail (Spam)? Do you hate it? Every time you forward an e-mail there is information left over from the people who received the message before you and sent it to you, namely their e-mail addresses and names. As the messages get forwarded along, the list of addresses builds, and builds, and builds. All it takes is for some poor sap to get a virus, and his or her computer can send that virus to every e-mail a ddress that has come across their computer. Or, someone can take all of those addresses and send junk mail to them or sell the addresses to spammers in the hope that you will go to the site and they will make five cents for each hit that they sell. That's right, all of that inconvenience over a nickel and because someone included visible e-mail addresses in their Forwarded message!

How do you stop it? Well, there are two easy steps:

1) When you Forward an e-mail, DELETE all of the other addresses that appear in the body of the message (at the top). That's right, DELETE them. Highlight them and delete them or backspace them or cut them -- whatever it is that you know how to do. (If you don't know how to perform at least one of these simple operations... LEARN!) It only takes a second. You MUST click the "Forward" button first though; then you will have full Editing capabilities for the body and headers of the message. If you don't click on "Forward" first, you won't be able to Edit the message at all.

(I find this a great time to correct spelling and remove, those pesky "send this to 10 friends and your wish will come true" false promises. If the message is very messy, drop it into Word or WordPad/Notepad or whatever word processor you use. Editing within a word processing program is much easier than performing editing operations within the body of an e-mail message.)

(2) Whenever you send an e-mail to more than one person, DO NOT use the To:’or Cc: options for adding e-mail addresses. Always use the BCC: (Blind Carbon Copy) option for listing the e-mail addresses of the folks you want to send the message to. This way the people you send to only see their own e-mail address and no one else's. If you don't see your BCC: option, click on where it says To: and your address list will appear. Highlight the address and choose BCC: and that's it. It's that easy!!!

When you send to BCC: (and leave the T o: line blank) your message will automatically say "Undisclosed Recipients" in the "To:" field of the people who receive it, providing extra security and privacy to all the people in your Address Book.

(3) Remove any "FW:" in the subject line. You can re-name the subject if you wish or even correct spelling.

(4) ALWAYS hit your Forward button from the actual e-mail you are reading. Ever get those e-mails that you have to open 10 or 15 or 20 FW: pages to read the one page with the information on it? By Forwarding from the actual final page you wish someone to view, prevent their having to open multiple e-mails just to see what you sent. (Many people will not open all those emails for fear of getting a virus; so your message may go unread.)

Have you ever received an email that is a petition? It states a position and asks you to add your name and address and to Forward it to a number of people or your entire Address Book. The email can be Forward ed on and on and can collect thousands of names and email addresses.

FACT: The completed petition is actually worth a couple of bucks to a professional spammer because of the wealth of valid names and email addresses contained therein. If you want to support the petition, send it as your own personal letter to the intended recipient(s). Your position may carry more weight as a personal letter than a laundry list of names and email address on a petition - and, again, you will protect the privacy of those in your Address Book and provide them additional security against viruses and spammers.

Regarding petitions: Be aware, that the government (federal, state, and local) and most legitimate organizations completely disregard email petitions. In order for a petition to have value and be acted upon, it is necessary to have LIVE, verifiable signatures, usually with the signer’s legitimate mailing address.

So please, in the future, let's stop the junk mail and the viruses by working together and respecting the privacy and security of one another.

Finally, here's an idea!!!
Let's send this to everyone we know (but PLEASE strip my address out first).
This is something that SHOULD be forwarded.

Is your daddy home?

2007-06-09T02:37:00.001-07:00

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in
sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers,
he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a
child's whisper. "Hello ? "

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes ," whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No "

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your
Mommy there?" "Yes "

"May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "N0 ?

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes ," whispered the child, " a policeman ".

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy ", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background
through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter " answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, " The search team just landed a
helicopter ."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are
they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... " ME "

Potty Talk

2007-05-15T22:17:00.001-07:00

Potty Talk... A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall.
By Shannon Popkin

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and
does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in
the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window.
People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned
3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume.
It's always fully cranked.
There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the
meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible
voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.
Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade
with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the
restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming
from the second to the last stall:
"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh!
Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh!
You gonna sit down on DA toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you
doing?
Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?"
At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the
bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ? 4? 5?
Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out
of this stall and reveal my identity.
Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you?
Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy!
Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty?
Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ?
Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl,
Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!"
I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me.
Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief.
This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time
before exiting.
Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in Mommy's purse
and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!"

"No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started
to gag at this point. "Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy,
doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!" As the gags
became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall.
I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject.
I began to reason with myself: OK. There are fourother toilets.
If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who
overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.
"Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done
going stinkies! Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off.
Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet
outside my door.
"Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under
DA door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at
the wady's feet?" More laughter.
I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.
"Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now.
We have to go out now, Mommy."He started pounding on the door.
"Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!"
I saw that my "wait 'em out" plan was unraveling.
As I sheepishly opened the door, and found an open sink, I thought,
Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed
away every bit of my privacy?
But as my little herald gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed
bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought,
I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little
fellow.

Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three.
She lives with her family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she no
longer uses public restrooms.

The Washcloth

2007-03-29T00:07:00.000-07:00

Ladies this has to be read, laughed at and passed
on. There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this!

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologistlater in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell
me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had
only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already
around 8:45 am.

The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any
time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort
over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be
able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas,
wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick
wash in 'that area' to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the
washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car
and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.
Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table,
looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was
in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an
extra effort this morning, haven't we ?"

I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The
rest of the day was normal ... some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc.

After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called
out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?" I told her to
get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had
all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."

STR

2007-03-29T00:05:00.000-07:00

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital and had passed away at 6:00 p.m. She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within three (3) hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S = Ask the individual to SMILE.

T = Ask the person to TALK to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE

(Coherently) (i.e.. It is sunny out today)

R = Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

{NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue... if the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke}

If the person has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

Look Up

2007-03-29T00:02:00.000-07:00

A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants.

This is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Word Games

2007-03-28T23:46:00.000-07:00

DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW
Whe n you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S

A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands!

Mother

2007-03-28T23:45:00.000-07:00

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is
this the long way?" she asked. And the guide said:
"Yes, and the way is hard.
And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But
the end will be better than the beginning."

But the young mother was happy, and she would not
believe that anything could be better than these years. So she
played with her children, and gathered flowers for
them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams, and
the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,
"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was
dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother
drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,
"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and
the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.
But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there."
So the children climbed, and when they reached the top
they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."

And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up
at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my
children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness.
Yesterday I gave them courage.
Today, I 've given them strength."

And the next day came strange clouds which darkened
the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped
and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light."
And the children looked and saw above the clouds
an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the
darkness. And that night the Mother said,
"This is the best day of all, for
I have shown my children God."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and
the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent.
But her children were tall and strong, and walked with
courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her,
for she was as light as a feather. And at last they came to a hill,
and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And
the mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know
the end is better than the beginning, for my children can
walk alone, and their children after them."

And the children said, "You will always walk with us,
Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates
closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her
but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She
is a living presence......."

Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisper
of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand
on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives
inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home; and
she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love
and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can
separate you.

Not time, not space... not even death!

PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MOTHERS & CHILDREN YOU KNOW.
MAY WE NEVER TAKE OUR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED...

Pictures the news never show

2007-03-28T23:28:00.000-07:00

Hormones

2007-03-28T23:26:00.000-07:00

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own
hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's
license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant
other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: May I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: May I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Plainly; Men Suck
11. Pack My Stuff........And my favorite one...
12. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a
good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but
chocolate sings!

Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood
swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to
monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in
bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
he'll buy me diamonds. Here, have some chocolate.

Hope you all have a terrific day!!!

Jesus on the Beach

2007-03-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

I hope you enjoy it. It is incredible!

Pictures below are from a beach in Maryland. Isn't the artwork awesome? Be sure to open up your screen all the way. The man creates new ones each day, as the ocean washes away his work every day.

This is Chuck Ritchey, Sr. I have watched this man work on the beach at Ocean City, Maryland. Each time I watch him I marvel at his talent and fortitude because it is true that his works get washed away with the tide and he does them again. He is certainly a witness for Jesus Christ as thousands of people, in the course of a day, view his work and watch as he crafts his treasures. May his message be viewed by many.

Christians

2007-03-28T23:16:00.001-07:00

Christians

- By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say. "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow.

Share this with somebody who already has this understanding, as reinforcement. But more importantly, share this with those who do not have a clear understanding of what it means to be a Christian, so that the myth that Christian think they are "perfect" or "better than others" can be dispelled.

May your day be filled with many blessings! Ps.91:1

Angel Love Note

2007-03-28T23:13:00.000-07:00

HONEST... how many of you girls REALLY ENJOY getting little angel love notes from every person in your address book? You know the ones *I love you so here's a too cutesy angel and some mushy poem to prove it ...* ~~ BLEH!! Like the cute wasn't bad enough, THEN they try to FORCE you by threatening bad luck if you don't send it on to others and back to them to prove you read the email! A vicious circle! *

Here's MY version:

YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED BY THE GOOD LUCK ANGEL!

HE'S GOOD LUCK BECAUSE HE PROBABLY MADE YOU SMILE.

WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED TRYING TO SEE UP HIS LOINCLOTH ... WHY NOT SEND THIS ON TO SOME OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS TO MAKE THEM SMILE, TOO?

DON'T SEND IT BACK TO ME. I JUST GOT ALL THE DROOL OUT OF MY KEYBOARD ... !

YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED BY THE GOOD LUCK ANGEL!

Two Boxes

2007-03-28T23:07:00.000-07:00

God's Boxes

I have in my hands two boxes,
Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box,
And all your joys in the gold."

I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each day,
The black was as light as before.

With curiosity, I opened the black,
I wanted to find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.

I showed the hole to God, and mused,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
"My child, they're all here with me.."

I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go."

We should consider all of our friends a blessing.
Send this to a friend today just to let them know you
are thinking of them and that they are a joy in your life.

A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end.
It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends.
But the treasure inside for you to see,
Is the treasure of friendship you've granted to me.

Today I pass the friendship ball to you.
Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you...

I WISH YOU "PUPPY SIZE"

2007-03-28T22:56:00.000-07:00

"Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this," the mother told the volunteer.

"What is it she keeps asking for?" the volunteer asked.

"Puppy size!" replied the mother.

"Well, we have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for."

"I know...we have seen most of them," the mom said in frustration...

Just then Danielle came walking into the office

"Well, did you find one?" asked her mom. "No, not this time," Danielle said with sadness in her voice. "Can we come back on the weekend?"

The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed

"You never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there's always a supply," the volunteer said.

Danielle took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. "Don 't worry, I'll find one this weekend," she said.

Over the next few days both mom and dad had long conversations with her.

They both felt she was being too particular. "It's this weekend or we're not looking any more," Dad finally said in frustration.

"We don't want to hear anything more about puppy size either," Mom added.

Sure enough, they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning. By now Danielle knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs.

Tired of the routine, mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted.

Danielle walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to take a closer look. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held each one.

One by one she said, "Sorry, you're not the one."

It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup.

The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it closely. This time she took a little longer.

"Mom, that's it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!" she screamed with joy. "It's the puppy size!"

"But it's the same size as all the other puppies you held over the last few weeks," Mom said.

"No not size ---- the sighs. When I held him in my arms, he sighed," she said.

"Don't you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told me love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sigh!"

The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug the child, she did a little of both.

"Mom, every time you hold me, I sigh. When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other, you both sigh. I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms," she said.

Then holding the puppy up close to her face she said, "Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart!"

Close your eyes for a moment and think about the love that makes you sigh. I not only find it in the arms of my loved ones, but in the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight and the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day.

They are the sighs of God. Take the time to stop and listen; you will be surprised at what you hear.

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Let me know if you get the answer.

2007-03-28T22:46:00.000-07:00

Can you answer this riddle?

Here is a pretty neat little thing from Paul Harvey. See
if you can guess the riddle at the end.

Paul Harvey Writes:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that
we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down
clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I
really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that
you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn
and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when
you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies
born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you
believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger
brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the
middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you
because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little
brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your
friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you
don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen
riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how
to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn
to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your
first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that
you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your
hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you
don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you
realize he is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your
Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the
holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a
baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses
you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your
hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and
disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to
appreciate life.

Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss I'm here for you.
And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

Send this to all of your friends. We secure our friends,
not by accepting favors, but by doing them.

Paul Harvey RIDDLE:

When asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten kids got the
answer, compared to 17% of Stanford University

What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The
poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?

Go down to the bottom of this message then press shift and you will
get the answer.

P.S.. You won't believe this, but this really does give
you the answer!!!!

IF WOMEN CONTROLLED THE WORLD...

2007-03-11T21:56:00.000-07:00

HOW TO GET TO HEAVEN

2007-03-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they
understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and
gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?"

"NO!" The children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything
neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

By now I was starting to smile.

Hey, this was fun!

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the
children,
and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them
again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!"

I was just bursting with pride for them.

"Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."

Holy Email

2007-03-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior
that was going on, so he called one of His angels and sent the angel to
Earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth;
95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."

God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second
angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to
Earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said,
"Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are
being good."

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were being good,
because He wanted to encourage them...give them a little something to help
them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?

?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

?
?
?
Ok, just wondering.....I didn't get one either......

A little Blessing

2007-03-11T21:49:00.000-07:00

At the end of this story, it gives you two options.

I think you will figure out what option I chose.

Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. She was still groggy from surgery.

Her husband, David, held her hand as they braced themselves for the latest news.

That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency Cesarean to deliver couple's new daughter, Dana Lu Blessing.

At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound nine ounces, they already knew she was perilously premature.

Still, the doctor's soft words dropped like bombs.

"I don't think she's going to make it," he said, as kindly as he could.

"There's only a 10-percent chance she will live through the night, and even then, if by some slim chance she does make it, her future could be a very cruel one"

Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Dana would likely face if she survived.

She would never walk, she would never talk, she would probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation, and on and on.

"No! No!" was all Diana could say.

She and David, with their 5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day they would have a daughter to become a family of four.

Now, within a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away

But as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana.

Because Dana's underdeveloped nervous system was essentially 'raw', the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort, so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests to offer the strength of their love.

All they could do, as Dana struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl.

There was never a moment when Dana suddenly grew stronger.

But as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of weight here and an ounce of strength there.

At last, when Dana turned two months old, her parents were able to hold her in their arms for the very first time.

And two months later, though doctors continued to gently but grimly warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal life, were next to zero, Dana went home from the hospital, just as her mother had predicted.

Five years later, when Dana was a petite but feisty young girl with glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for life.

She showed no signs whatsoever of any mental or physical impairment. Simply, she was everything a little girl can be and more. But that happy ending is far from the end of her story.

One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near her home in Irving, Texas, Dana was sitting in her mother's lap in the bleachers of a local ball park where her brother Dustin's baseball team was practicing.

As always, Dana was chattering nonstop with her mother and several other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell silent. Hugging her arms across her chest, little Dana asked, "Do you smell that?"

Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a thunderstorm, Diana replied, "Yes, it smells like rain."

Dana closed her eyes and again asked, "Do you smell that?"

Once again, her mother replied, "Yes, I think we're about to get wet. It smells like rain."

Still caught in the moment, Dana shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced,

"No, it smells like Him.

It smells like God when you lay your head on His chest."

Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Dana happily hopped down to play with the other children.

Before the rains came, her daughter's words confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family had known, at least in their hearts, all along.

During those long days and nights of her first two months of her life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Dana on His chest and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well.

You now have 1 of 2 choices. You can either pass this on and let other people catch the chills like you did or you can delete this and act like it didn't touch your heart like it did mine.

IT'S YOUR CALL!

"I can do all things in Him who strengthens me."

This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, He saw me, and He asked: "My child, what is your greatest wish for today?" I responded:

"Lord please, take care of the person who is reading this message, their family and their special friends. They deserve it and I love them very much" The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginning, but not its end.

Interesting

2007-03-11T21:45:00.000-07:00

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"
-------------------------------------------
Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

-------------------------------------------

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
-------------------------------------------

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

-------------------------------------------

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

-------------------------------------------

Coca-Cola was originally green.

-------------------------------------------

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

-------------------------------------------

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska

-------------------------------------------

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

-------------------------------------------

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given
hour: 61,000

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from
history:

Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg
in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of
natural causes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his
son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."

It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a
refill, they used the whistle to get some service.

"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

CRUISE CONTROL

2007-03-11T21:42:00.000-07:00

NEVER KNEW THIS BEFORE.

I wonder how many people know about this?

A 36 year old female had an accident several
weeks ago and totaled her car.

A resident of Kilgore, Texas, she was traveling
between Gladewater and Kilgore. It was raining,
though not excessively, when her car suddenly
began to hydroplane and literally flew through
the air. She was not seriously injured but very
stunned at the sudden occurrence!

When she explained to the highway patrolman
what had happened he told her something that
every driver should know - NEVER DRIVE IN
THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL
ON.

She had thought she was being cautious
by
setting the cruise control and
maintaining a safe
consistent speed in the rain.

But the highway patrolman told her that
if the
cruise control is on and your car begins
to
hydroplane when your tires lose contact
with the
pavement, your car will accelerate to a
higher
rate of speed and you take off like an
airplane.

She told the patrolman that was exactly
what
had occurred.

The highway patrol estimated her car was

actually traveling through the air at 10
to 15
miles per hour faster than the speed set
on the
cruise control.

The patrolman said this warning should
be
listed, on the driver's seat sun-visor -
NEVER
USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE
PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with the
airbag warning.

We tell our teenagers to set the cruise
control
and drive a safe speed - but we don't
tell them to
use the cruise control only when the
pavement
is dry.

The only person the accident victim
found, who
knew this (besides the patrolman), was a
man
who had had a similar accident, totaled
his car
and sustained severe injuries.

If you send this to 15 people and only
one of
them doesn't know about this, then it
was all worth it. You might have saved a life.

The "W" in Christmas

2007-03-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience. I
had cut back on nonessential obligations -- extensive card writing, endless
baking, decorating, and even overspending. Yet still, I found myself exhausted,
unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and of course, the true meaning
of Christmas.

My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting season
for a six-year-old. For weeks, he'd been memorizing songs for his school's "Winter
Pageant."

I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd be working the night of the
production. Unwilling to miss his shining moment, I spoke with his teacher. She assured
me there'd be a dress rehearsal the morning of the presentation. All parents
unable to attend that evening were welcome to come then. Fortunately, Nicholas
seemed happy with the compromise.

So, the morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early, found
a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. Around the room, I saw several
other parents quietly scampering to their seats. As I waited, the students were
led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their teacher, sat cross-legged on
the floor. Then, each group, one by one, rose to perform their song.

Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the holiday
as Christmas," I didn't expect anything other than fun, commercial
entertainment - songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good cheer. So, when my son's class rose to sing, "Christmas Love," I was slightly taken aback by its bold
title.

Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens,
red sweaters, and bright snowcaps upon their heads. Those in the front
row-center stage -- held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the title of the
song. As the class would sing "C is for Christmas," a child would hold up the
letter C. Then, "H is for Happy," and on and on, until each child holding up his
portion had presented the complete message, "Christmas Love."

The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her; a small,
quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter "M" upside down -- totally
unaware her letter "M" appeared as a "W."

The audience of 1st through 6th graders snickered at this little one's
mistake. But she had no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall, proudly
holding her "W." Although many teachers tried to shush the children, the
laughter continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it
together. A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen. In that instant, we
understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated the holiday in the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our festivities.

For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear:

"C H R I S T W A S L O V E"

And, I believe, He still is.

Amazed in His presence...

Humbled by His love.

May each of you have a Merry Christmas as you reflect on His Amazing Love

for us...

Have a blessed day!

Mothers

2007-03-11T21:39:00.001-07:00

This is a BEAUTIFUL piece -- please
read at a slow pace, digesting every word in
leisure...do not hurry....this is a treasure...

For those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom,
this is beautiful. For those of us who aren't, this is
even more beautiful. For those who are moms, you'll love this.

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is
this the long way?" she asked. And the guide said:
"Yes, and the way is hard.
And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But
the end will be better than the beginning."

But the young mother was happy, and she would not
believe that anything could be better than these years. So she
played with her children, and gathered flowers for
them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams, and
the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,
"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was
dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother
drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,
"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and
the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.
But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there."
So the children climbed, and when they reached the top
they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."

And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up
at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my
children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness.
Yesterday I gave them courage.
Today, I 've given them strength."

And the next day came strange clouds which darkened
the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped
and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light."
And the children looked and saw above the clouds
an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the
darkness. And that night the Mother said,
"This is the best day of all, for
I have shown my children God."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and
the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent.
But her children were tall and strong, and walked with
courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her,
for she was as light as a feather. And at last they came to a hill,
and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And
the mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know
the end is better than the beginning, for my children can
walk alone, and their children after them."

And the children said, "You will always walk with us,
Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates
closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her
but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She
is a living presence......."

Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisper
of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand
on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives
inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home; and
she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love
and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can
separate you.

Not time, not space... not even death!

PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MOTHERS & CHILDREN YOU KNOW.
MAY WE NEVER TAKE OUR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED...

Birth Order of Children

2007-03-11T21:36:00.000-07:00

Your Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
confirms your pregnancy.
2nd Baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing
didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidermal in your eighth month.

The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold
them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard
only
the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up
the
baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
swing.

Pacifiers:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you
can
go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with
some
juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diaper every hour, whether they need it
or
not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain
about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby
Story Hour.
2nd Baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home
five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
number
where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees
blood.

At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child
isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
hospital and demand X-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the
coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his
allowance!

Rednecks Again

2007-03-11T21:33:00.000-07:00

"You know you're a redneck when......"

1. You take your dog for a walk
and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes
with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do
off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back
and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight
over a hunting dog.

15 You go to the stock car races
and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains,
but your truck does.

19. You wonder
how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized
because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of matching salad bowls
and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood
and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation
because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65

2007-03-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

Charles Schultz Philosophy

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields, but the applause dies. Awards tarnish and achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners .

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care .
Pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life.

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
(Charles Schultz)

What Do You Really Do All Day Helen?

2007-03-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still
in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and
wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he
found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the
throw rug was wadded against one wall

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and
the family room was strewn with toys
and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on
the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on
the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of
sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of
clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or
that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the
bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap
and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a
heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the
bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled,
and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked,
What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you co me
home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"

Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Don't Leave It

2007-03-11T21:11:00.000-07:00

There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr Christianson,a studious man who taught at a small college in the western United States. Dr.Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was required to take this course his or her freshman year, regardless of his or her major.

Although Dr Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the course as nothing but required drudge ry. Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity seriously.

This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going onto seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the school football team, and was the best student in the professor's class.

One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him.

"How many push-ups can you do?"

Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."

"200? That's pretty good, Steve," Dr. Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?"

Steve replied, "I don't know.... I've never done 300 at a time."

"Do you think you could?" again asked Dr. Christianson.

"Well, I can try," said Steve.

"Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," said the professor.

Steve said, "Well... I think I can...yeah, I can do it"

Dr. Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday. Let me explain what I have in mind."

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds o f donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyonewas pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going
to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr. Christianson's class.

Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?"

Cynthia said, "Yes."

Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"

"Sure." Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.

Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe, do you want a donut?"

Joe said, "Yes." Dr. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?"

Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten pushups for every person before they got their donut.

Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship.

When the professor asked, "Scott do you want a donut?"

Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own pushups?"

Dr. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."

Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then."

Dr. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?"

With perfect obedience Steve start ed to do ten pushups.

Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!"

Dr. Christianson said, "Look!, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.

Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow.

Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry. Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?"

Sternly, Jenny said, "No."

Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?"

Steve did ten....Jenny got a donut.

By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks.

Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these pushups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.

Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten pushups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was so Robert could count the set and watch Steve cl osely.

Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row.During his class, however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.

Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.

Steve asked Dr Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?"

Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your pushups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want." And Dr. Christianson went on.

A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!"

Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."

Professor Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten pushups for him?"

Steve said, "Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut"

Dr. Christianson said, "Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?"

Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. "Yes," he said, "give me a donut."

"Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?"

Steve did ten pushups very sl owly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.

Dr. Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face,
there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room.

The very last two students in the room were two young women, both cheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut?"

Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you."

Professor Christianson quietly asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?"

Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow pushups for Linda.

Then Dr Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?"

Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. "Dr. Christianson, why can't I help him?"

Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, Steve has to do it alone, I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at my grade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyoneelse has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work. Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push ups. He and I made a deal for ;your sakes."

"Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?"

As Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 pushups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.

Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said. "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten."

Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile.

"Well done, good and faithful servant," said the professor, adding "Not all sermons are preached in words."

Turning to his class, the professor said, "My wish is that you might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He spared not only His Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we
choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid."

"Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?"

Share this with someone. It's bound to touch their heart and demonstrate Salvation in a very special way.

Christian One Liners

2007-03-11T21:04:00.001-07:00

Christian One Liners
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Don't let your worries get the
best of you; remember, Moses started
out as a basket case.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited
until you try to sit in their pews.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

The good Lord didn't create anything
without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

When you get to your wit's end,

you'll find God lives there.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

People are funny;

they want the front of the bus,

the middle of the road,

and the back of the church.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
bangs on your front door forever.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Quit griping about your
church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

If the church wants a better pastor,

it only needs to pray for the one it has.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

God Himself does not propose
to judge a man until he is dead.

So why should you?

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Some minds are like concrete
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Peace starts with a smile.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

I don't know why some people
change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

A lot of church members who are singing

"Standing on the Promises"

are just sitting on the premises.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Be ye fishers of men.

You catch them - He'll clean them.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Don't put a question mark where God put a period.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Forbidden fruits create many jams.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

God doesn't call the qualified,

He qualifies the called.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

God grades on the cross,

not the curve.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

God loves everyone, but probably prefers
"fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

He who angers you, controls you!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Prayer:

Don't give God instructions --

just report for duty!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

The Will of God never takes you to
where the Grace of God will not protect you.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

We don't change the message,

the message changes us.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

You can tell how big a person
is by what it takes to.........

.discourage him.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

If this e-mail blessed you in a profound
way today my Dear Friend,

PLEASE pass this along to
those in which you would like to see smile.
God bless all today, tomorrow and ALWAYS!

May God and His Son be with you from today on out!

DO CANADIANS HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR?

2007-03-11T20:33:00.000-07:00

Prayer

2007-03-11T19:30:00.001-07:00

BONO
REMARKS AT THE NATIONAL PRAYER BREAKFAST

Thank you.

Mr. President, First Lady, King Abdullah, Other heads of State, Members of Congress, distinguished guests…

Please join me in praying that I don’t say something we’ll all regret.

That was for the FCC.

If you’re wondering what I’m doing here, at a prayer breakfast, well, so am I. I’m certainly not here as a man of the cloth, unless that cloth is leather. It’s certainly not because I’m a rock star. Which leaves one possible explanation: I’m here because I’ve got a messianic complex.

Yes, it’s true. And for anyone who knows me, it’s hardly a revelation.

Well, I’m the first to admit that there’s something unnatural… something unseemly… about rock stars mounting the pulpit and preaching at presidents, and then disappearing to their villas in the South of France. Talk about a fish out of water. It was weird enough when Jesse Helms showed up at a U2 concert… but this is really weird, isn’t it?

You know, one of the things I love about this country is its separation of church and state. Although I have to say: in inviting me here, both church and state have been separated from something else completely: their mind. .

Mr. President, are you sure about this?

It’s very humbling and I will try to keep my homily brief. But be warned—I’m Irish.

I’d like to talk about the laws of man, here in this city where those laws are written. And I’d like to talk about higher laws. It would be great to assume that the one serves the other; that the laws of man serve these higher laws… but of course, they don’t always. And I presume that, in a sense, is why you’re here.

I presume the reason for this gathering is that all of us here—Muslims, Jews, Christians—all are searching our souls for how to better serve our family, our community, our nation, our God.

I know I am. Searching, I mean. And that, I suppose, is what led me here, too.

Yes, it’s odd, having a rock star here—but maybe it’s odder for me than for you. You see, I avoided religious people most of my life. Maybe it had something to do with having a father who was Protestant and a mother who was Catholic in a country where the line between the two was, quite literally, a battle line. Where the line between church and state was… well, a little blurry, and hard to see.

I remember how my mother would bring us to chapel on Sundays… and my father used to wait outside. One of the things that I picked up from my father and my mother was the sense that religion often gets in the way of God.

For me, at least, it got in the way. Seeing what religious people, in the name of God, did to my native land… and in this country, seeing God’s second-hand car salesmen on the cable TV channels, offering indulgences for cash… in fact, all over the world, seeing the self-righteousness roll down like a mighty stream from certain corners of the religious establishment…

I must confess, I changed the channel. I wanted my MTV.

Even though I was a believer.

Perhaps because I was a believer.

I was cynical… not about God, but about God’s politics. (There you are, Jim.)

Then, in 1997, a couple of eccentric, septuagenarian British Christians went and ruined my shtick—my reproachfulness. They did it by describing the Millennium, the year 2000, as a Jubilee year, as an opportunity to cancel the chronic debts of the world’s poorest people. They had the audacity to renew the Lord’s call—and were joined by Pope John Paul II, who, from an Irish half-Catholic’s point of view, may have had a more direct line to the Almighty.

‘Jubilee’—why ‘Jubilee’?

What was this year of Jubilee, this year of our Lords favor?

I’d always read the Scriptures, even the obscure stuff. There it was in Leviticus (25:35)…

‘If your brother becomes poor,’ the Scriptures say, ‘and cannot maintain himself… you shall maintain him… You shall not lend him your money at interest, not give him your food for profit.’

It is such an important idea, Jubilee, that Jesus begins his ministry with this. Jesus is a young man, he’s met with the rabbis, impressed everyone, people are talking. The elders say, he’s a clever guy, this Jesus, but he hasn’t done much… yet. He hasn’t spoken in public before…

When he does, is first words are from Isaiah: ‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,’ he says, ‘because He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.’ And Jesus proclaims the year of the Lord’s favour, the year of Jubilee. (Luke 4:18)

What he was really talking about was an era of grace—and we’re still in it.

So fast-forward 2,000 years. That same thought, grace, was made incarnate—in a movement of all kinds of people. It wasn’t a bless-me club… it wasn’t a holy huddle. These religious guys were willing to get out in the streets, get their boots dirty, wave the placards, follow their convictions with actions… making it really hard for people like me to keep their distance. It was amazing. I almost started to like these church people.

But then my cynicism got another helping hand.

It was what Colin Powell, a five-star general, called the greatest W.M.D. of them all: a tiny little virus called A.I.D.S. And the religious community, in large part, missed it. The one’s that didn’t miss it could only see it as divine retribution for bad behaviour. Even on children… Even fastest growing group of HIV infections were married, faithful women.

Aha, there they go again! I thought to myself Judgmentalism is back!

But in truth, I was wrong again. The church was slow but the church got busy on this the leprosy of our age.

Love was on the move.

Mercy was on the move.

God was on the move.

Moving people of all kinds to work with others they had never met, never would have cared to meet… Conservative church groups hanging out with spokesmen for the gay community, all singing off the same hymn sheet on AIDS… Soccer moms and quarterbacks… hip-hop stars and country stars… This is what happens when God gets on the move: crazy stuff happens!

Popes were seen wearing sunglasses!

Jesse Helms was seen with a ghetto blaster!

Crazy stuff. Evidence of the spirit.

It was breathtaking. Literally. It stopped the world in its tracks.

When churches started demonstrating on debt, governments listened—and acted. When churches starting organising, petitioning, and even—that most unholy of acts today, God forbid, lobbying… on AIDS and global health, governments listened—and acted.

I’m here today in all humility to say: you changed minds; you changed policy; you changed the world.

Look, whatever thoughts you have about God, who He is or if He exists, most will agree that if there is a God, He has a special place for the poor. In fact, the poor are where God lives.

Check Judaism. Check Islam. Check pretty much anyone.

I mean, God may well be with us in our mansions on the hill… I hope so. He may well be with us as in all manner of controversial stuff… maybe, maybe not… But the one thing we can all agree, all faiths and ideologies, is that God is with the vulnerable and poor.

God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house… God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives… God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war… God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them. “If you remove the yolk from your midst, the pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness, and if you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom with become like midday and the Lord will continually guide you and satisfy your desire in scorched places”

It’s not a coincidence that in the Scriptures, poverty is mentioned more than 2,100 times. It’s not an accident. That’s a lot of air time, 2,100 mentions. [You know, the only time Christ is judgmental is on the subject of the poor.] ‘As you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.’ (Matthew 25:40). As I say, good news to the poor.

Here’s some good news for the President. After 9-11 we were told America would have no time for the World’s poor. America would be taken up with its own problems of safety. And it’s true these are dangerous times, but America has not drawn the blinds and double-locked the doors.

In fact, you have double aid to Africa. You have tripled funding for global health. Mr. President, your emergency plan for AIDS relief and support for the Global Fund—you and Congress—have put 700,000 people onto life-saving anti-retroviral drugs and provided 8 million bed nets to protect children from malaria.

Outstanding human achievements. Counterintuitive. Historic. Be very, very proud.

But here’s the bad news. From charity to justice, the good news is yet to come. There’s is much more to do. There’s a gigantic chasm between the scale of the emergency and the scale of the response.

And finally, it’s not about charity after all, is it? It’s about justice.

Let me repeat that: It’s not about charity, it’s about justice.

And that’s too bad.

Because you’re good at charity. Americans, like the Irish, are good at it. We like to give, and we give a lot, even those who can’t afford it.

But justice is a higher standard. Africa makes a fool of our idea of justice; it makes a farce of our idea of equality. It mocks our pieties, it doubts our concern, it questions our commitment.

6,500 Africans are still dying every day of a preventable, treatable disease, for lack of drugs we can buy at any drug store. This is not about charity, this is about Justice and Equality.

Because there's no way we can look at what’s happening in Africa and, if we're honest, conclude that deep down, we really accept that Africans are equal to us. Anywhere else in the world, we wouldn’t accept it. Look at what happened in South East Asia with the Tsunami. 150, 000 lives lost to that misnomer of all misnomers, “mother nature”. In Africa, 150,000 lives are lost every month. A tsunami every month. And it’s a completely avoidable catastrophe.

It’s annoying but justice and equality are mates. Aren’t they? Justice always wants to hang out with equality. And equality is a real pain.

You know, think of those Jewish sheep-herders going to meet the Pharaoh, mud on their shoes, and the Pharaoh says, “Equal?” A preposterous idea: rich and poor are equal? And they say, “Yeah, ‘equal,’ that’s what it says here in this book. We’re all made in the image of God.”

And eventually the Pharaoh says, “OK, I can accept that. I can accept the Jews—but not the blacks.”

“Not the women. Not the gays. Not the Irish. No way, man.”

So on we go with our journey of equality.

On we go in the pursuit of justice.

We hear that call in the ONE Campaign, a growing movement of more than two million Americans… left and right together… united in the belief that where you live should no longer determine whether you live.

We hear that call even more powerfully today, as we mourn the loss of Coretta Scott King—mother of a movement for equality, one that changed the world but is only just getting started. These issues are as alive as they ever were; they just change shape and cross the seas.

Preventing the poorest of the poor from selling their products while we sing the virtues of the free market… that’s a justice issue. Holding children to ransom for the debts of their grandparents… That’s a justice issue. Withholding life-saving medicines out of deference to the Office of Patents… that’s a justice issue.

And while the law is what we say it is, God is not silent on the subject.

That’s why I say there’s the law of the land… and then there is a higher standard. There’s the law of the land, and we can hire experts to write them so they benefit us, so the laws say it’s OK to protect our agriculture but it’s not OK for African farmers to do the same, to earn a living?

As the laws of man are written, that’s what they say.

God will not accept that.

Mine won’t, at least. Will yours?

[pause]

I close this morning on … very… thin… ice.

This is a dangerous idea I’ve put on the table: my God vs. your God, their God vs. our God… vs. no God. It is very easy, in these times, to see religion as a force for division rather than unity.

And this is a town—Washington—that knows something of division.

But the reason I am here, and the reason I keep coming back to Washington, is because this is a town that is proving it can come together on behalf of what the Scriptures call the least of these.

This is not a Republican idea. It is not a Democratic idea. It is not even, with all due respect, an American idea. Nor it is unique to any one faith.

Do to others as you would have them do to you.’ (Luke 6:30) Jesus says that.

‘Righteousness is this: that one should… give away wealth out of love for Him to the near of kin and the orphans and the needy and the wayfarer and the beggars and for the emancipation of the captives.’ The Koran says that. (2.177)

Thus sayeth the Lord: ‘Bring the homeless poor into the house, when you see the naked, cover him, then your light will break out like the dawn and your recovery will speedily spring fourth, then your Lord will be your rear guard.’ The jewish scripture says that. Isaiah 58 again.

That is a powerful incentive: ‘The Lord will watch your back.’ Sounds like a good deal to me, right now.

A number of years ago, I met a wise man who changed my life. In countless ways, large and small, I was always seeking the Lord’s blessing. I was saying, you know, I have a new song, look after it… I have a family, please look after them… I have this crazy idea…

And this wise man said: stop.

He said, stop asking God to bless what you’re doing.

Get involved in what God is doing—because it’s already blessed.

Well, God, as I said, is with the poor. That, I believe, is what God is doing.

And that is what He’s calling us to do.

I was amazed when I first got to this country and I learned how much some churchgoers tithe. Up to ten percent of the family budget. Well, how does that compare the federal budget, the budget for the entire American family? How much of that goes to the poorest people in the world? Less than one percent.

Mr. President, Congress, people of faith, people of America:

I want to suggest to you today that you see the flow of effective foreign assistance as tithing…. Which, to be truly meaningful, will mean an additional one percent of the federal budget tithed to the poor.

What is one percent?

One percent is not merely a number on a balance sheet.

One percent is the girl in Africa who gets to go to school, thanks to you. One percent is the AIDS patient who gets her medicine, thanks to you. One percent is the African entrepreneur who can start a small family business thanks to you. One percent is not redecorating presidential palaces or money flowing down a rat hole. This one percent is digging waterholes to provide clean water.

One percent is a new partnership with Africa, not paternalism towards Africa, where increased assistance flows toward improved governance and initiatives with proven track records and away from boondoggles and white elephants of every description.

America gives less than one percent now. Were asking for an extra one percent to change the world. to transform millions of lives—but not just that and I say this to the military men now – to transform the way that they see us.

One percent is national security, enlightened economic self interest, and a better safer world rolled into one. Sounds to me that in this town of deals and compromises, one percent is the best bargain around.

These goals—clean water for all; school for every child; medicine for the afflicted, an end to extreme and senseless poverty—these are not just any goals; they are the Millennium Development goals, which this country supports. And they are more than that. They are the Beatitudes for a Globalised World.

Now, I’m very lucky. I don’t have to sit on any budget committees. And I certainly don’t have to sit where you do, Mr. President. I don’t have to make the tough choices.

But I can tell you this:

To give one percent more is right. It’s smart. And it’s blessed.

There is a continent—Africa—being consumed by flames.

I truly believe that when the history books are written, our age will be remembered for three things: the war on terror, the digital revolution, and what we did—or did not to—to put the fire out in Africa.

History, like God, is watching what we do.

Thank you. Thank you, America, and God bless you all.

Valentine

2007-03-11T19:27:00.000-07:00

A friend sent an early "Valentine" to see if it will make it around the
world by Feb. 14th.
For God so loVed the world,
That He gAve
His onLy
BegottEn
SoN
That whosoever
Believeth In Him
Should Not perish,
But have Everlasting life."
John 3:16
Send it around the World!!

Hormones

2007-03-11T19:26:00.001-07:00

Hormones

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own
hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's
license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant
other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: May I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: May I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Plainly; Men Suck
11. Pack My Stuff........And my favorite one...
12. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a
good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but
chocolate sings!

Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood
swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to
monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in
bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
he'll buy me diamonds. Here, have some chocolate.

Hope you all have a terrific day!!!

Baby Sign

2007-03-11T19:25:00.001-07:00

I was interested in looking up information on babies and sign language and this one surprised me. I just typed into Google “sign language and infants” and found a lot of topics.
Baby Signs Are Simple and Smart
By The Editors of Sesame Street Parents

- - - - -

Teach your baby sign language? Why not? It's fun. It's useful. And it could boost your child's IQ.

Researchers have discovered a 12-point IQ gap between a group of second-graders who had been trained to sign as babies and a group who had not. "We were astonished," says one of the researchers, Linda Acredolo, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California at Davis.

Baby signing gained appeal in 1996 with Baby Signs: How to Talk With Your Baby Before Your Baby Can Talk (Contemporary Books), which Dr. Acredolo cowrote with Susan Goodwyn, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at California State University at Stanislaus. It is based on the idea that babies wish to talk long before they can form words. (Think how they wave bye-bye or shake their heads no.) What's more, parents can build on this desire and enhance parent-infant communication by teaching their babes simple gestures, such as patting their hip to say they need a diaper change.

No one knows why baby signing would raise IQs. It may be that, as Acredolo and Goodwyn's research shows, signing gives babies a jump-start on language. Or it could be that signing makes them seem extra intelligent to their parents. "And if parents treat their babies as smart, it may be a self-fulfilling prophesy," Dr. Acredolo says. "The children may blossom to meet their parents' expectations."

A letter from Mom.....

2007-03-11T19:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my daughter's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.

It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my daughter saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think she wants her crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM...!

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

Traitor

2007-03-11T19:15:00.000-07:00

IF YOU NEVER FORWARDED ANYTHING IN YOU LIFE FORWARD THIS SO THAT EVERYONE WILL KNOW!!!!!!.......

She really was a traitor

A TRAITOR IS ABOUT TO BE HONORED
KEEP THIS MOVING ACROSS AMERICA

This is for all the kids born in the 70's who do
not remember, and didn't have to bear the
burden that our fathers, mothers and older
brothers and sisters had to bear.

Jane Fonda is being honored as one of the
"100 Women of the Century"

BY BARBRA WALTERS

Unfortunately, many have forgotten and still
countless others have never known how Ms.
Fonda betrayed not only the idea of our country,
but specific men who served and sacrificed
during Vietnam.

The first part of this is from an F-4E pilot

The pilot's name is Jerry Driscoll, a River Rat

In 1968, the former Commandant of the USAF
Survival School was a POW in Ho Lo Prison
the "Hanoi Hilton."

Dragged from a stinking cesspit of a cell,
cleaned, fed, and dressed in clean PJ's, he was
ordered to describe for a visiting American
"Peace Activist" the "lenient and humane
treatment" he'd received.

He spat at Ms. Fonda, was clubbed, and was
dragged away.
During the subsequent beating, he fell forward
on to the camp Commandant's feet, which
sent that officer berserk.

In 1978, the Air Force Colonel still suffered from
double vision (which permanently ended his
flying career) from the Commandant's frenzied
application of a wooden baton.

From 1963-65, Col. Larry Carrigan was in the
47FW/DO (F-4E's). He spent 6 years in the
"Hanoi Hilton",,, the first three of which his
family only knew he was "missing in action".
His wife lived on faith that he was still alive.
His group, too, got the cleaned-up, fed and
clothed routine in preparation for a
"peace delegation" visit.
They, however, had time and devised a plan to
get word to the world that they were alive
and still survived. Each man secreted a tiny
piece of paper, with his Social Security Number
on it, in! the p! a lm of his hand.

When paraded before Ms. Fonda and a
cameraman, she walked the line, shaking each
man's hand and asking little encouraging
snippets like: "Aren't you sorry you bombed
babies?" and "Are you grateful for the humane
treatment from your benevolent captors?"
Believing this HAD to be an act, they each
palmed her their sliver of paper.
She took them all without missing a beat. At the
end of the line and once the camera stopped
rolling, to the shocked disbelief of the POWs,
she turned to the officer in charge and handed
him all the little pieces of paper.

Three men died from the subsequent beatings.
Colonel Carrigan was almost number four
but he survived, which is the only reason we
know of her actions that day.

I was a civilian economic development advisor
in Vietnam, and was captured by the North
Vietnamese communists in South Vietnam in
1968, and held prisoner for over 5 years.

I spent 27 months in solitary confinement; one
year in a cage in Cambodia; and one year
in a "black box" in Hanoi.
My North Vietnamese captors deliberately
poisoned and murdered a female missionary, a
nurse in a leprosarium in Ban me Thuot, South
Vietnam, whom I buried in the jungle near the
Cambodian border.
At one time, I weighed only about 90 lbs.
(My normal weight is 170 lbs.)

We were Jane Fonda's "war criminals."

When Jane Fonda was in Hanoi, I was asked by
the camp communist political officer if I would
be willing to meet with her.

I said yes, for I wanted to tell her about the real
treatment we POWs received... and how
different it was from the treatment purported by
the North Vietnamese, and parroted by her as
"humane and lenient."

Because of this, I spent three days on a rocky
floor on my knees, with my arms outstretched
with a large steel weights placed on my hands,
and beaten with a bamboo cane.

I had the opportunity to meet with Jane Fonda
soon after I was released. I asked her
if she would be willing to debate me on TV.
She never did answer me.

These first-hand experiences do not exemplify
someone who should be honored as part
of "100 Years of Great Women."
Lest we forget..." 100 Years of Great Women"
should never include a traitor whose hands are
covered with the blood of so many patriots.

There are few things I have strong visceral
reactions to, but Hanoi Jane's participation in
blatant treason, is one of them.
Please take the time to forward to as many
people as you possibly can.
It will eventually end up on her computer and
she needs to know that we will never forget.

Galations 6:7

2007-03-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that
shall he also reap."

Here are some men and women who mocked God:

JOHN LENNON:
Some years before during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:
"Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about
that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, Today we
are more famous than Him" (1966). Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were
more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

TANCREDO NEVES (President of Brazil): During the Presidential campaign, he
said if he got 500 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from
Presidency. Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made
President, then he died.

CAZUZA (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet): During a show in
Canecão ( Rio de Janeiro), whilst smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some
smoke into the air and said: "God, that's for you." He died at the age of 32
of AIDS in a horrible manner.

THE MAN WHO BUILT TITANIC: After the construction of Titanic, a reporter
asked him how safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: "Not
even God can sink it." The result: I think you all know what happened to the
Titanic.

MARILYN MONROE: She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a
show. He is a preacher and Evangelist and the Spirit of God had sent him to
preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: "I
don't need your Jesus." A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.

BON SCOTT: The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
"Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, wow the highway to hell". On the
19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his
vomit.

CAMPINAS/SP IN 2005: In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to
pick up a friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried
about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter - holding
her hand, who was already seated in the car: "MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND
MAY HE PROTECT YOU", She responded: ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE BOOT,
COZ INSIDE HERE IT'S ALREADY FULL" Hours later, news came by that they had
been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be
recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the boot was
intact. The police said there was no way the boot could have remained
intact. To their surprise, inside the boot was a crate of eggs, none was
broken.

Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that
was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have died, but only
Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive. JESUS!!!

P.S: If it was a joke, you could have sent it to everyone. So are you going
to have courage to send this?. I have done my part, Jesus said "If you get
embarrassed about me, I will also get embarrassed about you before my
father."

What benefit does it have, if a man gains the whole world but loses his
soul?

What can man give in exchange of his soul? (Matthew 16:26).

Veganimals??

2007-03-11T19:07:00.000-07:00

Refiner and Purifier of Silver

2007-03-11T19:04:00.001-07:00

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at the next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest, as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot, then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but
he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy... when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you!!!!

Pass this on. Right now, this very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them. And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.

"Life is a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you can only spend it once."

Raising Boys

2007-03-11T19:03:00.001-07:00

RAISING BOYS
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

Piggy Bank

2007-03-11T18:56:00.000-07:00

Look at my piggy bank after I bought gas yesterday.

One-liners

2007-03-11T18:55:00.001-07:00

1. Give God what's right--not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end--God's way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
6. Are you are wrinkled with burden? Come to church for a face-lift..
7. When praying don't give God instructions--just report for duty.
8. We don't change God's message. His message changes us.
9. When God ordains, He sustains.
10. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
11. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
12. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
13. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
14. Exercise daily. Walk with the Lord.
15. Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.
16. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
17. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
18. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
19. Be ye fishers of men. You catch them and He'll clean them.
20. God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called.

Miracles really do happen!

2007-03-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured all the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes. Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexal's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door.

She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention; but he was too busy at the moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing... She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good.... Finally, she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!

"And what do you want?" the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. "I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages," the Pharmacist said; without waiting for a reply to his first question.

"Well", said the little girl; "I want to talk to you about my brother," Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. "He's really, really sick... and I want to buy a miracle."

"I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist. "His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head; my Daddy says "only a miracle can save him now". So, Tess asked him again; "how much does a miracle cost?"

"We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you," the pharmacist said, softening a his tone a little.

"Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs", Tess insisted.

The pharmacist's brother stooped down and asked the little girl, "What kind of a miracle does your brother need?" said the well dressed Man. "I don't know," Tess replied with her eyes welling up a bit. "I just know he's really sick. Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money."

"How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago. "One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered barely audibly. "And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to."

"Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and eleven cents---the exact price of a miracle for little brothers." He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said "Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the kind of miracle you need."

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed without charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well. Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place. "That surgery," her Mom whispered. "was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?" Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost ... one dollar and eleven cents ...... plus the faith of a little child.

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law..... (A TRUE STORY)

I know you'll keep the ball moving! Here it goes. Throw it back to someone who means something to you!

A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end. It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends. But the treasure inside for you to see is the treasure of friendship you've granted to me. Today I pass the friendship ball to you. Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you.

MY OATH TO YOU...

When you are sad.....I will dry your tears.
When you are sacred I will comfort your fears.
When you are worried.....I will give you hope.
When you are confused.....I will help you cope.
And when you are lost....And can't see the light. I shall be your beacon.....Shining ever so bright.
This is my oath.....I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?.....Because you're my friend.

Signed: GOD

MIND GAME- 2% or 98%

2007-03-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

This is strange...can you figure it out?

Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?

Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!

* Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.

* There's no trick or surprise.

* Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!

* Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them ... really. * Now, scroll down (but not too fast, ! you might miss something).

Think of a number from 1 to 10

Multiply that number by 9

If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together

Now subtract 5

Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with

(example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)

Think of a country that starts with that letter

Remember the ! last letter of the name of that country

Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter

Remember the last letter in the name of that animal

Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter

Are you thinking of! a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?

I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise. Keep this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to others. Forward it to people you know so they can find out if they are usual or unusual

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

2007-03-11T18:32:00.001-07:00

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it live it and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff.
Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally. I hope you all have a blessed day.

Happy Mother's Day

2007-03-11T18:30:00.001-07:00

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mom’s and soon to be Mom’s

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night
with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf
laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid
saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here."

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end
soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with
spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their
blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make
cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the
mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies
they'll never see. And the mothers who took those
babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art
collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on
metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead
of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that
when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they
could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for
the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids
in the grocery store and swat them in despair when
they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream
before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to
ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their
children and explained all about making babies. And
for all the (grand)mothers who wanted to, but just
couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their
children can eat. For all the mothers who read
"Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then
read it again. "Just one more time .."

This is for all the mothers who taught their
children to tie their shoelaces before they started
school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro
instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to
cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns
automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a
crowd, even though they know their own offspring are
at home -- or even away at college.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to
school with stomach aches assuring them they'd be
just FINE once they got there, only to get calls
from the school nurse an hour later asking them to
please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray,
who can't find the words to reach them.

This is for all the step-mothers who raised another
woman's child or children, and gave their time,
attention, and love... sometimes to tally unappreciated!

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they
bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school
shootings, and the mothers of those who did the
shooting.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers
who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging
their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their
children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home
safely from a war.
What makes a good Mother anyway?
Is it patience?

Compassion?

Broad hips?

The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a
button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it in her heart?

Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or
daughter disappear down the street, walking to
school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from
bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back
of a sleeping baby?

The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M.
when you just want to hear their key in the door and
know they are safe again in your home?

Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug
your child when you hear news of a fire, a car
accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our
thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through
diaper changes and sleep deprivation...

And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without. This is for
you all. For all of us. Hang in there. In the end we
can only do the best we can. Tell them every day
that we love them. And pray.

Please pass along to all the Moms in your life.

"Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall."

Hands

2007-03-11T18:29:00.000-07:00

Grandpa, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. He didn't move, just sat with his head down staring at his hands. When I sat down beside him he didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if he was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to check on him at the same time, I asked him if he was OK. He raised his head and looked at me and smiled. Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking, he said in a clear strong voice.

I didn't mean to disturb you, grandpa, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK I explained to him.

Have you ever looked at your hands he asked. I mean really looked at your hands?

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point he was making.

Grandpa smiled and related this story:

Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots.

They dried the tears of my children and caressed the love of my life.

They held my rifle and wiped my tears when I went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent.

They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son.

Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote the letters home and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse and walked my daughter down the aisle.

Yet, they were strong and sure when I dug my buddy out of a foxhole and lifted a plow off of my best friends foot. They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer. These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of my life.

But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ.

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandpa's hands and led him home. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and wife I think of grandpa. I know he has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God. I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel his hands upon my face.

Unitl We Write Again

2007-03-11T18:27:00.001-07:00

Dear God,
I'm writing to say I'm sorry
For being angry yesterday
When you seemed to ignore my prayer
And things didn't go my way

First, my car broke down
I was very late for work
But I missed that awful accident
Was that your handiwork?

I found a house I loved
But others got there first
I was angry, then relieved
When I heard the pipes had burst!

Yesterday, I found the perfect dress
But the color was too pale
Today, I found the dress in red
Would you believe, it was on sale!

I know you're watching over me
And I'm feeling truly blessed
For no matter what I pray for
You always know what's best!

I have this circle of E-mail friends,
Who mean the world to me;
Some days I "send" and "send,"
At other times, I let them be.

I am so blessed to have these friends,
With whom I've grown so close;
So this little poem I dedicate to them,
Because to me they are the "Most"!

When I see each name download,
And view the message they've sent;
I know they've thought of me that day,
And "well wishes" were their intent.

So to you, my friends, I would like to say,
Thank you for being a part;
Of all my daily contacts,
This comes right from my heart.

God bless you all is my prayer today,
I'm honored to call you "friend";
I pray the Lord will keep you safe
Until we write again..

The Marine

2007-03-11T18:26:00.001-07:00

This is a poem being sent from a Marine to his Dad. For those who take the time to read it, you'll see a letter from him to his Dad at the bottom. It makes you truly thankful for not only the Marines, but ALL of our troops

THE MARINE

We all came together,

Both young and old

To fight for our freedom,

To stand and be bold.

In the midst of all evil,

We stand our ground,

And we protect our country

From all terror around.

Peace and not war,

Is what some people say

But I'll give my life,

So you can live the American way.

I give you the right

To talk of your peace.

To stand in your groups,

and protest in our streets.

But still I fight on,

I don't bitch, I don't whine.

I'm just one of the people

Who is doing your time.

I'm harder than nails,

Stronger than any machine.

I'm the immortal soldier,

I'm a U.S. MARINE!

So stand in my shoes,

And leave from your home.

Fight for the people who hate you,

With the protests they've shown.

Fight for the stranger,

Fight for the young.

So they all may have,

The greatest freedom you've won.

Fight for the sick,

Fight for the poor

Fight for the cripple,

Who lives next door.

But when your time comes,

Do what I've done.

For if you stand up for freedom,

You'll stand when the fight's done.

By: Corporal Aaron M. Gilbert, US Marine Corps

USS SAIPAN, PERSIAN GULF

March 23, 2003

Hey Dad,

Do me a favor and label this "The Marine" and send it to
everybody on your email list. Even leave this letter in it. I
want this rolling all over the US; I want every home reading
it. Every eye seeing it. And every heart to feel it. So can you
please send this for me? I would but my email time isn't that
long and I don't have much time anyway. You know what Dad?
I wondered what it would be like to truly understand what JFK
said in His inaugural speech.

"When the time comes to lay down my life for my country,
I do not cower from this responsibility. I welcome it."
Well, now I know. And I do. Dad, I welcome the opportunity
to do what I do. Even though I have left behind a beautiful
wife, and I will miss the birth of our first born child, I would
do it 70 times over to fight for the place that God has made
for my home. I love you all and I miss you very much. I wish
I could be there when Sandi has our baby, but tell her that I
love her, and Lord willing, I will be coming home soon. Give
Mom a great big hug from me and give one to yourself too. Aaron

If this touched you as much as it touched me, please forward it on.

Let's help Aaron's dad spread the word.

FREEDOM isn't FREE

someone pays for you and me.

Darrell Scott's Testimony

2007-03-11T18:20:00.000-07:00

Guess our national leaders didn't expect this, hmm?On Thursday, Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado, was invited to address the House Judiciary Committee's subcommittee. What he said to our national leaders during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful. They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert! These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness.. The following is a portion of the transcript:

"Since the dawn of creation there has been both good &evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers.

"The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was not the club he used. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain's heart.
"In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don't believe that they are responsible for my daughter's death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel's murder I would be their strongest opponent.
I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy-it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. "I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expresses my feelings best. This was written way before I knew I would be speaking here today:

Your laws ignore our deepest needs,
Your words are empty air.
You've stripped away our heritage,
You've outlawed simple prayer.
Now gunshots fill our classrooms,
And precious children die.
You seek for answers everywhere,
And ask the question "Why?"
You regulate restrictive laws,
Through legislative creed.
And yet you fail to understand,
That God is what we need!

"Men and women are three-part beings. We all consist of body, soul, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and reek havoc.. Spiritual presences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact. What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs -- politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do not need more restrictive laws. "Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts.
"As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes-He did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right! I challenge every young person in America, and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School, prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA - I give to you a sincere challenge... Dare to examine your own heart before casting the first stone!
My daughter's death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!"

Do what the media did not - - let the nation hear this man's speech. Please send this out to everyone you can if you believe in what this man has said!!!

Somebody Said...

2007-03-11T18:17:00.000-07:00

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby ....

somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct .

somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring ......

somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."

Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices .....

somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbour's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother .

Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.

Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books ....

somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labour and delivery .

Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.

or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back ...

somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married .

Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter- in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ....

Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her .

Somebody isn't a mother.

A Mom's Job Description

2007-03-11T18:16:00.001-07:00

This is a fun description of our full time jobs! :)

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a...?"

Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom."

"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, "housewife covers it," said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until, one day, I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar" "What is your occupation?" she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."*

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then, I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have 4 credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?), and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, 3. Upstairs, I could hear our new experimental model (a 6-month-old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."

Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" and great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates"? I think so!!! I also think it makes aunts "Associate Research Assistants".

Please send this to another Mom, Grandmother, Aunt, and other friends you know.
May your troubles be less, your blessings be more and nothing but happiness come through your door!

Lego Church

2007-03-11T18:05:00.000-07:00

This is amazing! Someone certainly is talented and patient to create such a masterpiece.

LEGO CHURCH..........
A few quick facts:

How long to build it? It was about a year and a half of planning, building and photographing.

How many pieces of LEGO to build it? more than 75,000

How big is it? About 7 feet by 5 1/2 feet by 30 inches (2.2 m x 1.7 m x .76 m)

How many LEGO people does it seat? 1372

How many windows? 3976

It features a balcony, a Narthex, stairs to the balcony, restrooms, coat rooms, several mosaics a nave, a baptistry, an altar, a crucifix, a pulpit and an elaborate pipe organ.

All I can say is WOW! That's me sixth row from the back on the right....fifth person in....wearing the red shirt (ha!ha!)

Carjacking Scheme

2007-03-11T18:00:00.000-07:00

You may have read/heard this before .... it's a good reminder
Serious item, from Illinois State Patrol
Neat, but devious concept....
Subject: FW: new car jacking scheme
Check this out!! Makes you think!!!
Holiday shopping is around the corner!!!!

ILLINOIS STATE POLICE WARNING

Please pass this along to others and beware.
CAR-JACKING NEW SCHEME

Be aware of a new car-jacking scheme. Imagine that you walk across
the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. Then you lock all your
doors, start the engine and shift the car into REVERSE. You look in
the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space and you notice a
piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window.

So, you shift into PARK, unlock your doors and jump out of your car
to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view.
When you reach the back of your car, that is when the car-jackers
appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off!!

Your engine was running, (ladies would have their purse in the car) and
they practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.

BE AWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED against
unsuspecting people. It happens VERY FAST!

REMEMBER THIS: If you see something in your rear window obstructing
your view AFTER YOU ARE ALREADY IN YOUR CAR, drive away
immediately and remove the paper or obstruction that is stuck to your
window LATER, and be thankful that you read this e-mail.

I hope you will forward this to friends and family...especially to
women! A purse contains all identification, and you certainly do NOT want
someone getting your home address. They already HAVE your keys!

This scheme has been reported! to have occurred in the states of!
Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky and Michigan. It is certain to spread
quickly. We are asking that residents of major cities within these states be
mindful and alert to these tactics when traveling.

Carl's Garden

2007-03-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

Carl was a quiet man. He didn't talk much. He would always greet you with a big smile and a firm handshake. Even after living in our neighborhood for over 50 years, no one could really say they knew him very well.

Before his retirement, he took the bus to work each morning. The lone sight of him walking down the street often worried us. He had a slight limp from a bullet wound received in W.W.II. Watching him, we worried that although he had survived W.W.II, he may not make it through our changing
uptown neighborhood with its ever-increasing random violence, gangs, and drug activity.

When he saw the flyer at our local church asking for volunteers for caring for the gardens behind the minister's residence, he responded in his characteristically unassuming manner. Without fanfare, he just signed up.

He was well into his 87th year when the very thing we had always feared finally happened. He was just finishing his watering for the day when three gang members approached him. Ignoring their attempt to intimidate him, he simply asked, "Would you like a drink from the hose?" The tallest and
toughest-looking of the three said, "Yeah, sure," with a malevolent little smile. As Carl offered the hose to him, the other two grabbed Carl's arm, throwing him down. As the hose snaked crazily over the ground, dousing everything in its way, Carl's assailants stole his retirement watch and his
wallet, and then fled.

Carl tried to get himself up, but he had been thrown down on his bad leg. He lay there trying to gather himself as the minister came running to help him. Although the minister had witnessed the attack from his window, he couldn't get there fast enough to stop it. "Carl, are you okay? Are you hurt?" the minister kept asking as he helped Carl to his feet. Carl just passed a hand over his brow and sighed, shaking his head.
"Just some punk kids. I hope they'll wise-up someday." His wet
clothes clung to his slight frame as he bent to pick up the hose. He adjusted the nozzle again and started to water. Confused and a little concerned, the minister asked, "Carl, what are you doing?" "I've got to finish my watering. It's been very dry lately," came the calm reply. Satisfying
himself that Carl really was all right, the minister could only marvel. Carl was a man from a different time and place.

A few weeks later the three returned. Just as before their threat was unchallenged. Carl again offered them a drink from his hose. This time they didn't rob him. They wrenched the hose from his hand and drenched him head to foot in the icy water. When they had finished their humiliation of him, they sauntered off down the street, throwing catcalls and curses,
falling over one another laughing at the hilarity of what they had just done.

Carl just watched them. Then he turned toward the warmth giving sun, picked up his hose, and went on with his watering. The summer was quickly fading into fall. Carl was doing some tilling when he was startled by the sudden approach of someone behind him. He stumbled and fell into some evergreen branches As he struggled to regain his footing, he turned to see the tall leader of his summer tormentors reaching down for him. He braced himself for the expected attack.

"Don't worry old man, I'm not gonna hurt you this time." The young man spoke softly, still offering the tattooed and scarred hand to Carl. As he helped Carl get up, the man pulled a crumpled bag from his pocket and handed it to Carl.

"What's this?" Carl asked. "It's your stuff," the man explained. "It's your stuff back. Even the money in your wallet."

"I don't understand," Carl said. "Why would you help me now?"

The man shifted his feet, seeming embarrassed and ill at ease. "I learned something from you," he said. "I ran with that gang and hurt people like you. We picked you because you were old and we knew we could do it. But every time we came and did something to you, instead of yelling and fighting back, you tried to give us a drink. You didn't hate us for hating you. You kept showing love against our hate." He stopped for a moment "I couldn't sleep after we stole your stuff, so here it is back." He paused for another awkward moment, not knowing what more there was to say. "That bag's my
way of saying thanks for straightening me out, I guess." And with that, he walked off down the street.

Carl looked down at the sack in his hands and gingerly opened it. He took out his retirement watch and put it back on his wrist. Opening his wallet, he checked for his wedding photo. He gazed for a moment at the young bride that still smiled back at him from all those years ago.

He died one cold day after Christmas that winter. Many people
attended his funeral in spite of the weather. In particular the minister noticed a tall young man that he didn't know sitting quietly in a distant corner of the church. The minister spoke of Carl's garden as a lesson in life. In
a voice made thick with unshed tears, he said, "Do your best and make your garden as beautiful as you can. We will never forget Carl and his garden."

The following spring another flyer went up. It read: "Person needed to care for Carl's garden." The flyer went unnoticed by the busy parishioners until one day when a knock was heard at the minister's office door. Opening the door, the minister saw a pair of scarred and tattooed hands holding the flyer. "I believe this is my job, if you'll have me," the young man said.

The minister recognized him as the same young man who had returned the stolen watch and wallet to Carl. He knew that Carl's kindness had turned this man's life around. As the minister handed him the keys to the garden shed, he said, "Yes, go take care of Carl's garden and honor him."

The man went to work and, over the next several years, he tended the flowers and vegetables just as Carl had done. In that time, he went to college, got married, and became a prominent member of the community. But he never forgot his promise to Carl's memory and kept the garden as beautiful
as he thought Carl would have kept it.

One day he approached the new minister and told him that he
couldn't care for the garden any longer. He explained with a shy and happy smile, "My wife just had a baby boy last night, and she's bringing him home on Saturday."

"Well, congratulations!" said the minister, as he was handed the garden shed keys. "That's wonderful! What's the baby's name?"

"Carl," he replied.

That's the whole gospel message simply stated.

Take 60 seconds give this a shot! Let's just see if Satan stops this one. All you do is:

1. Simply say a small prayer for the person who sent you this, (Father, God bless this person in whatever it is that You know he or she may be needing this day!)

2. Then send it on to other people Within hours people will have prayed for you, and you caused a multitude of people to pray to God for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life fordoing the thing that you know He loves.

GOOD FRIENDS ARE LIKE ANGELS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SEE THEM TO KNOW THEY ARE THERE.......

Abduction Precautions for Women

2007-03-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

Refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...This is
for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you
know.

After reading this, forward it to someone you care about. It never hurts
to
be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If
you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber asks for
your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from
you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse
than you, and he
will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail
lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The
driver
won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating,
working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
DON'T
DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect
opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell
you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking
garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side
floor, and in the back seat.

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger
door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their
vans
while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the
passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you
may
want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk
you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than
dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are
horrible
places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS
RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even
then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you
raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well
educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He
walked
with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with
his
vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a
crying
baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because
it
was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do,
DO NOT open the door."

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a
window,
and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The
policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT
open
the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry
recorded, and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone
dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several
calls by
women saying that they hear baby crying outside their doors, when they're
home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby. This
e-mail
should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was
mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the
serial
killer in Louisiana.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a
life.
A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this
to
the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters,
daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the
world
we live in has a lot of crazies in it, and it's better to be safe than
sorry.

Reading?

2007-03-11T17:52:00.000-07:00

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht
oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the
frist
and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and
you
can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos
not
raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Neat, eh?

Dr. Phil's Test

2007-03-11T17:48:00.001-07:00

Dr. Phil's Test

Here ya go ... try this. Below is Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55)

He did this test on Oprah -- she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of
money to find this stuff out. Read on, this is very interesting! Don't be
overly sensitive!

The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends if you want. The person who sent it placed their score in the subject box. Please do the same before forwarding to your friends. Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now......not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept..at many of the major corporations
today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees.

It's only 10 simple questions, so...... grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers. Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you are finished, forward this to everyone you know, and also send it to the person who sent this to you.

Make sure to put YOUR score in the subject box. Ready?? Begin...

1. When do you feel yourbest?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted......
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) darkblue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep....
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:

1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6

2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1

3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6

4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1

5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2

6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2

7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4

8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1

9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1

10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care.."You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

THE SNEEZE

2007-03-11T17:43:00.000-07:00

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-three students filing into
the already crowded auditorium. With rich maroon gowns flowing and
the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt.

Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely brushed
away tears.

This class would not pray during the commencements ----- not by choice
but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

The principal and several students were careful to stay within the
guidelines allowed by the ruling.

They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one
mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the
graduates or their families.

The speeches were nice, but they were routine.......until the final
speech received a standing ovation.

A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still
and silent for just a moment, and then he delivered his speech. An
astounding-- SNEEZE!

The rest of the students rose immediately to their feet, and in
unison they said, "GOD BLESS YOU."

The audience exploded into applause. The graduating class found a
unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without
the court's approval.

A Bible Brain Teaser

2007-03-11T17:42:00.001-07:00

There are names of 16 books of the Bible mentioned in the paragraph below.
See how many you can find
(A preacher found 15 books in 20 minutes,
but it took him 3 weeks to find the 16th one.)
Good "luck"

"I once made a remark about the hidden books of
the Bible. It was a lulu; kept people looking so
hard for facts, and for others it was a revelation.
Some were in a jam, especially since the name of
the books were not capitalized.
But the truth finally struck home to numbers of
our readers.
To others it was a real job.
We want it to be a most facinating few
moments for you.
Yes, there will be some really easy ones
to spot.
Others may require judges to help find them.
I will quickly admit it usually takes a minister
to find one of them, and there will be loud
lamentations when it is found.
A little lady says she brews a cup of tea so
she can concentrate better.
See how well you can compete.
Relax now, for there really are sixteen names
of books of the Bible in this paragraph."

Good Luck!!!

The Room

2007-03-11T17:39:00.000-07:00

Some background about the author of this story that I believe will interest
you. Brian Moore, 17 years old and procrastinating as usual, had only a
short time to write something for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes
meeting. It was his turn to lead the discussion, so he sat down and wrote.

He showed the essay, titled "The Room" to his mother, Beth, before he headed
out the door.

"I wowed 'em," he later told his father, Bruce. "It's a killer, It's the
bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote."

It also was the last.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving
home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen- Pierce Road in
Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck
unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

"I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and
make something out of it," Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband
want to share their son's vision of life after death. "I'm happyfor Brian. I
know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him again someday," Mrs.M oore said "It
just hurts so bad now."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE ROOM

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room.

There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with
small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list
titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which
stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction,
had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one
that read "Girls I have liked." I opened It and began flipping through the
cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names
written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room
with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were
written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail
my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I
began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy
and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so
intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed."

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have
Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed
at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at
my brothers".

Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have
Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by
the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I
hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived.

Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to write each of these
thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth.
Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I have listened to," I realized the
files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet
after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I
shut it shamed, not so much by the quality of music but more by the vast
time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through
my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size,
and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to
think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind, "No one
must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy
them!"

In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to
empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding
it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and
pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear
it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning
my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then
I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle
was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on it's
handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I
could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I
began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and
shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from
the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my
tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it
up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please, not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as

He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His
response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw
a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes.
Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from
across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity
that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and
began to cry again.

He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things.
But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me. Then He got up and walked
back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a
file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card."No!" I
shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was,"No,no," as I pulled the
card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was,
written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine.
It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad
smile and began to sign the cards.

I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly,but the next
instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.
He placed His hand on my shoulder and said,"It is finished." I
stood up, and He led me out of the room.

There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

This story is one of the best e-mail stories I have ever read.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that
whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16

Bounce

2007-03-11T17:35:00.000-07:00

And all this time I've just been putting Bounce in the dryer.

1. It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them.
2. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get
opened too often.
3. Repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop
when outdoors during mosquito season.
4. Eliminates static electricity from your television screen.
Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your
television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from
resettling.
5. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of
Bounce.
6. Freshen the air in your home. Place an individual sheet of
Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.
7. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through
sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.
8. Prevent musty suitcases. Place a singlel sheet of Bounce inside
empty luggage before storing.
9. Freshen the! air in your car. Place a sheet of Bounce under the
front seat.
10. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan,
fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-
static
agent apparently weakens the bond between the food.
11. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at
the bottom of the wastebasket.
12. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will
magnetically attract all the loose hairs.
13. Eliminate static electricity from venetian blinds. Wipe the
blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.
14. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet
of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.
15. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of
Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.
16. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your
shoes or sneakers overnight.
17. Golfers ! put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the
bees away.

Dear God....

2007-03-11T17:27:00.000-07:00

GREAT THEOLOGY! KIDS STILL HAVE IT RIGHT!

Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and
Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda

Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a
puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Joyce

Dear Mr. God,
I wish you would not make it so easy for people to
come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Janet

Dear God,
If we come back as somebody else, please don't let me
be Jennifer Horton - because I hate her.
Denise

God,
I read the bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison

Dear God,
How did you know you were God? Who told you?
Charlene

Dear God,
Is it true my Father won't get in Heaven if he uses
his golf words in the house?
Anita

Dear God,
I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody
in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can
never do it.
Nan

Dear God,
Did you really mean, Do Unto Others As They Do Unto You? If you
did then I'm going to get even with my brother.
Darla

Dear God,
I like the story about Chanukah the best of all of
them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on
water, too.
Glenn

Dear God,
My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little
boy. How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis

Dear God,
Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you
don't, who does?
Nan

Dear God,
It's O. K. that you made different religions but don't
you get mixed up sometimes?
Arnold

Dear God,
Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it
an accident?
Norma

Dear God,
In bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer

Dear God,
What does it mean you are a jealous God? I thought you
had everything you wanted.
Jane

Dear God,
How come you did all those miracles in the old days
and don't do any now?
Seymour

Dear God,
Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp
this year.
Peter

Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much
if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my
brother.
Larry

Dear God,
I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet.
What's up? Don't forget.
Mark

Dear God,
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both
ways before I cross the street.
Dean

Dear God,
My brother told me about how you are born but it just
doesn't sound right.
What do you say?
Marsha

Dear God,
If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my
new shoes.
Liz

Dear God,
Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know
him through the business?
Donny

Dear God,
In Sunday School they told us what you do for a job.
Who does it when you are on vacation?
Jane

Dear God,
In school we read that Thomas Edison made light, but
in Sunday School they said you did it first. Did he steal your
idea?
Sincerely, Donna

Dear God,
I do not think anybody could be a better God than you.
Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that
because you are already God.
Charles

Dear God,
It is great the way you always get the stars in the
right place. Why can't you do that with the moon?
Jeff

Dear God,
I am doing the best I can. Really.
Frank

Dear God,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the
sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool.
Carol

It's a GOD thing

2007-03-11T17:19:00.000-07:00

How many of us have heard that question "Where was your GOD when the World Trade Center and the Pentagon was attacked?" Well I know where my GOD was the morning of September 11, 2001, and He was very busy!

He was trying to discourage anyone from taking these flights. Those four flights together held over 1000 passengers and there were only 266 aboard.

He was on 4 commercial flights giving terrified passengers the ability to stay calm. Not one of the family members who were called by a loved one on one of the high jacked planes said that passengers were screaming in the background. On one of the flights He was giving strength to passengers to try to overtake the highjackers.

He was busy trying to create obstacles for employees at the World Trade Center. After all, only around 20,000 were at the towers when the first jet hit. Since the buildings held over 50,000 workers, this was a Miracle in itself. How many of the people who were employed at the World Trade Center told the media that they were late for work or they had traffic delays.

He was holding up 2-110 story buildings so that 2/3 of the workers could get out. I was so amazed that the top of the towers didn't topple when the jets impacted. And when they did fall, they fell inward. GOD didn't allow them to topple over, as many more lives would have been lost.

And when the buildings went down, my GOD picked up almost 6,000 of his creations and discussed the eternal choices that they had made. Then he carried his children home with him. Reassuring His frighten children that the worst was over and the best was yet to come.

He sat down and cried that 19 of his children could have so much hate in their hearts. That they didn't choose Him, but another god that doesn't exist, and now they are lost forever.

He sent his children that are best trained for this disaster and had them save the few that were still alive, but unable to help themselves. And then sent many others to help in anyway they were needed.

He still isn't finished though, He held the loved ones that were left behind in his arms. He comforts them daily. His other children are given the strength to reach out to them and help them in any way they can. And I believe He will continue to help us in what is to come. He will give the people in charge of this great nation the strength and the wisdom to do the right thing. He would never leave us in our time of need.

So when anyone asks, "Where was your GOD on September 11", you can say "everywhere"! And yes, although this is without a doubt the worst thing I have seen in my life, I see God's miracles in every bit of it. I keep praying for those who don't believe in GOD, every chance I have. I can't imagine going through such a difficult time and not believing in GOD. Life would be hopeless.

Author Unknown...

I don't know who wrote this, but they are talking about the GOD that I know!

Tribute to the United States

2007-03-11T17:09:00.000-07:00

May this encourage Americans on a day like today.

TRIBUTE TO THE UNITED STATES

This, from a Canadian newspaper, is worth sharing.

America: The Good Neighbor.
Widespread but only partial news coverage was given recently to a remarkable editorial broadcast from Toronto by Gordon Sinclair, a Canadian television Commentator. What follows is the full text of his trenchant remarks as printed in the Congressional Record:

"This Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the Americans as the most generous and possibly the least appreciated people on all the earth. Germany, Japan and, to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts.

None of these countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States. When France was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up, and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. I was there. I saw it.

When earthquakes hit distant cities, it is the United States that hurries in to help. This spring, 59 American communities were flattened by tornadoes. Nobody helped. The Marshall Plan and the Truman Policy pumped billions of dollars into discouraged countries. Now newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent, warmongering Americans.

I'd like to see just one of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of the United States dollar build its own airplane. Does any other country in the world have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo Jet, the Lockheed Tri-Star, or the Douglas DC10?

If so, why don't they fly them? Why do all the International lines except Russia fly American Planes? Why does no other land on earth even consider putting a man or woman on the moon? You talk about Japanese technocracy, and you get radios. You talk about German technocracy, and you get automobiles. You talk about American technocracy, and you find men on the moon - not once, but several times - and safely home again.

You talk about scandals, and the Americans put theirs right in the store window for everybody to look at. Even their draft-dodgers are not pursued and hounded. They are here on our streets, and most of them, unless they are breaking Canadian laws, are getting American dollars from ma and pa at home to spend here.

When the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking down through age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them. When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose. Both are still broke.

I can name you 5000 times when the Americans raced to the help of other people in trouble. Can you name me even one time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble? I don't think there was outside help even during the San Francisco earthquake.

Our neighbors have faced it alone, and I'm one Canadian who is damned tired of hearing them get kicked around. They will come out of this thing with their flag high. And when they do, they are entitled to thumb their nose at the lands that are gloating over their present troubles. I hope Canada is not one of those."

Stand proud, America! Wear it proudly!!

This is one of the best editorials that I have ever read regarding the United States. It is nice that one man realizes it. I only wish that the rest of the world would realize it. We are always blamed for everything, and never even get a thank you for the things we do.

I would hope that each of you would send this to as many people as you can and emphasize that they hould send it to as many of their friends until this letter is sent to every person on the web. I am just a single American that has read this, TRIBUTE TO THE UNITED STATES