To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you
chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the
thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children After
creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he
said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have Forbidden
fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God
saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never
changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they
haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself If God had trouble raising
children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that
there are children more awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
home.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT
SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"
Showing posts with label Fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fun. Show all posts
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Isn't this the truth!!!
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn , you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someones Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.
You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'
This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someones Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.
You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'
This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!
Friday, November 16, 2007
The True Origin of the Internet
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called 'Amazon Dot Com.'
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham.
And that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called 'Amazon Dot Com.'
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham.
And that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Look Up
A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants.
This is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
This is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Word Games
DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW
Whe n you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands!
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW
Whe n you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands!
Hormones
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own
hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's
license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant
other!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: May I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: May I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Plainly; Men Suck
11. Pack My Stuff........And my favorite one...
12. Potential Murder Suspect
Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a
good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but
chocolate sings!
Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood
swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to
monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in
bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
he'll buy me diamonds. Here, have some chocolate.
Hope you all have a terrific day!!!
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own
hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's
license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant
other!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: May I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: May I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Plainly; Men Suck
11. Pack My Stuff........And my favorite one...
12. Potential Murder Suspect
Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a
good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but
chocolate sings!
Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood
swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to
monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in
bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
he'll buy me diamonds. Here, have some chocolate.
Hope you all have a terrific day!!!
Angel Love Note
HONEST... how many of you girls REALLY ENJOY getting little angel love notes from every person in your address book? You know the ones *I love you so here's a too cutesy angel and some mushy poem to prove it ...* ~~ BLEH!! Like the cute wasn't bad enough, THEN they try to FORCE you by threatening bad luck if you don't send it on to others and back to them to prove you read the email! A vicious circle! *
Here's MY version:
YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED BY THE GOOD LUCK ANGEL!
HE'S GOOD LUCK BECAUSE HE PROBABLY MADE YOU SMILE.
WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED TRYING TO SEE UP HIS LOINCLOTH ... WHY NOT SEND THIS ON TO SOME OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS TO MAKE THEM SMILE, TOO?
DON'T SEND IT BACK TO ME. I JUST GOT ALL THE DROOL OUT OF MY KEYBOARD ... !
YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED BY THE GOOD LUCK ANGEL!
Here's MY version:
YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED BY THE GOOD LUCK ANGEL!
HE'S GOOD LUCK BECAUSE HE PROBABLY MADE YOU SMILE.
WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED TRYING TO SEE UP HIS LOINCLOTH ... WHY NOT SEND THIS ON TO SOME OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS TO MAKE THEM SMILE, TOO?
DON'T SEND IT BACK TO ME. I JUST GOT ALL THE DROOL OUT OF MY KEYBOARD ... !
YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED BY THE GOOD LUCK ANGEL!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Holy Email
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior
that was going on, so he called one of His angels and sent the angel to
Earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth;
95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second
angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to
Earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said,
"Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are
being good."
God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were being good,
because He wanted to encourage them...give them a little something to help
them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Ok, just wondering.....I didn't get one either......
that was going on, so he called one of His angels and sent the angel to
Earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth;
95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second
angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to
Earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said,
"Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are
being good."
God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were being good,
because He wanted to encourage them...give them a little something to help
them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Ok, just wondering.....I didn't get one either......
Interesting
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"
-------------------------------------------
Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
-------------------------------------------
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
-------------------------------------------
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.
-------------------------------------------
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
-------------------------------------------
Coca-Cola was originally green.
-------------------------------------------
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
-------------------------------------------
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
-------------------------------------------
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
-------------------------------------------
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given
hour: 61,000
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from
history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg
in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of
natural causes.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his
son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a
refill, they used the whistle to get some service.
"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
-------------------------------------------
Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
-------------------------------------------
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
-------------------------------------------
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.
-------------------------------------------
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
-------------------------------------------
Coca-Cola was originally green.
-------------------------------------------
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
-------------------------------------------
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
-------------------------------------------
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
-------------------------------------------
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given
hour: 61,000
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from
history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg
in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of
natural causes.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his
son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a
refill, they used the whistle to get some service.
"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
Rednecks Again
"You know you're a redneck when......"
1. You take your dog for a walk
and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes
with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do
off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back
and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight
over a hunting dog.
15 You go to the stock car races
and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains,
but your truck does.
19. You wonder
how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized
because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of matching salad bowls
and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood
and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation
because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65
1. You take your dog for a walk
and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes
with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do
off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back
and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight
over a hunting dog.
15 You go to the stock car races
and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains,
but your truck does.
19. You wonder
how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized
because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of matching salad bowls
and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood
and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation
because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65
MIND GAME- 2% or 98%
This is strange...can you figure it out?
Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?
Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!
* Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
* There's no trick or surprise.
* Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!
* Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them ... really. * Now, scroll down (but not too fast, ! you might miss something).
Think of a number from 1 to 10
Multiply that number by 9
If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together
Now subtract 5
Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with
(example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)
Think of a country that starts with that letter
Remember the ! last letter of the name of that country
Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter
Remember the last letter in the name of that animal
Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter
Are you thinking of! a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?
I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise. Keep this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to others. Forward it to people you know so they can find out if they are usual or unusual
Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?
Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!
* Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
* There's no trick or surprise.
* Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!
* Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them ... really. * Now, scroll down (but not too fast, ! you might miss something).
Think of a number from 1 to 10
Multiply that number by 9
If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together
Now subtract 5
Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with
(example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)
Think of a country that starts with that letter
Remember the ! last letter of the name of that country
Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter
Remember the last letter in the name of that animal
Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter
Are you thinking of! a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?
I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise. Keep this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to others. Forward it to people you know so they can find out if they are usual or unusual
Somebody Said...
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby ....
somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct .
somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring ......
somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices .....
somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbour's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother .
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books ....
somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labour and delivery .
Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.
or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back ...
somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married .
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter- in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ....
Somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her .
Somebody isn't a mother.
somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct .
somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring ......
somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices .....
somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbour's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother .
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books ....
somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labour and delivery .
Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.
or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back ...
somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married .
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter- in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ....
Somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her .
Somebody isn't a mother.
Lego Church
This is amazing! Someone certainly is talented and patient to create such a masterpiece.
LEGO CHURCH..........
A few quick facts:
How long to build it? It was about a year and a half of planning, building and photographing.
How many pieces of LEGO to build it? more than 75,000
How big is it? About 7 feet by 5 1/2 feet by 30 inches (2.2 m x 1.7 m x .76 m)
How many LEGO people does it seat? 1372
How many windows? 3976
It features a balcony, a Narthex, stairs to the balcony, restrooms, coat rooms, several mosaics a nave, a baptistry, an altar, a crucifix, a pulpit and an elaborate pipe organ.
All I can say is WOW! That's me sixth row from the back on the right....fifth person in....wearing the red shirt (ha!ha!)
LEGO CHURCH..........
A few quick facts:
How long to build it? It was about a year and a half of planning, building and photographing.
How many pieces of LEGO to build it? more than 75,000
How big is it? About 7 feet by 5 1/2 feet by 30 inches (2.2 m x 1.7 m x .76 m)
How many LEGO people does it seat? 1372
How many windows? 3976
It features a balcony, a Narthex, stairs to the balcony, restrooms, coat rooms, several mosaics a nave, a baptistry, an altar, a crucifix, a pulpit and an elaborate pipe organ.
All I can say is WOW! That's me sixth row from the back on the right....fifth person in....wearing the red shirt (ha!ha!)
Reading?
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht
oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the
frist
and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and
you
can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos
not
raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Neat, eh?
waht
oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the
frist
and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and
you
can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos
not
raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Neat, eh?
Dr. Phil's Test
Dr. Phil's Test
Here ya go ... try this. Below is Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55)
He did this test on Oprah -- she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of
money to find this stuff out. Read on, this is very interesting! Don't be
overly sensitive!
The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends if you want. The person who sent it placed their score in the subject box. Please do the same before forwarding to your friends. Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now......not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept..at many of the major corporations
today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees.
It's only 10 simple questions, so...... grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers. Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you are finished, forward this to everyone you know, and also send it to the person who sent this to you.
Make sure to put YOUR score in the subject box. Ready?? Begin...
1. When do you feel yourbest?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night
2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly
3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted......
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) darkblue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep....
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant
POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care.."You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.
Here ya go ... try this. Below is Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55)
He did this test on Oprah -- she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of
money to find this stuff out. Read on, this is very interesting! Don't be
overly sensitive!
The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends if you want. The person who sent it placed their score in the subject box. Please do the same before forwarding to your friends. Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now......not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept..at many of the major corporations
today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees.
It's only 10 simple questions, so...... grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers. Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you are finished, forward this to everyone you know, and also send it to the person who sent this to you.
Make sure to put YOUR score in the subject box. Ready?? Begin...
1. When do you feel yourbest?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night
2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly
3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted......
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) darkblue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep....
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant
POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care.."You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.
A Bible Brain Teaser
There are names of 16 books of the Bible mentioned in the paragraph below.
See how many you can find
(A preacher found 15 books in 20 minutes,
but it took him 3 weeks to find the 16th one.)
Good "luck"
"I once made a remark about the hidden books of
the Bible. It was a lulu; kept people looking so
hard for facts, and for others it was a revelation.
Some were in a jam, especially since the name of
the books were not capitalized.
But the truth finally struck home to numbers of
our readers.
To others it was a real job.
We want it to be a most facinating few
moments for you.
Yes, there will be some really easy ones
to spot.
Others may require judges to help find them.
I will quickly admit it usually takes a minister
to find one of them, and there will be loud
lamentations when it is found.
A little lady says she brews a cup of tea so
she can concentrate better.
See how well you can compete.
Relax now, for there really are sixteen names
of books of the Bible in this paragraph."
Good Luck!!!
See how many you can find
(A preacher found 15 books in 20 minutes,
but it took him 3 weeks to find the 16th one.)
Good "luck"
"I once made a remark about the hidden books of
the Bible. It was a lulu; kept people looking so
hard for facts, and for others it was a revelation.
Some were in a jam, especially since the name of
the books were not capitalized.
But the truth finally struck home to numbers of
our readers.
To others it was a real job.
We want it to be a most facinating few
moments for you.
Yes, there will be some really easy ones
to spot.
Others may require judges to help find them.
I will quickly admit it usually takes a minister
to find one of them, and there will be loud
lamentations when it is found.
A little lady says she brews a cup of tea so
she can concentrate better.
See how well you can compete.
Relax now, for there really are sixteen names
of books of the Bible in this paragraph."
Good Luck!!!
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